A love like no other.....

The last few weeks have literally been "hard days" for me. When I say "hard days", I mean a funk like you wouldn't believe. I think, not only because it's almost been a year but because I'm starting school. Trying to get things ready for nursing school again has brought up some raw emotions, emotions that I don't think I ever really dealt with and well, just reminders of this time last year. I've been distancing myself from not only my friends but from Jay. The thing is, even though it pains him to see me hurting, after me telling him "I'm the one who felt our baby die, I'm the one who laid there with a dead baby in me, and I'm the one who saw her come out and not be able to take a breath"....after all that, he is patient with me. I'm not sure how the man puts up with me but wow, he's amazing! Along with all of the emotions rising in me from losing Adley comes the fear of disappointing my family. I'm so worried I am going to fail at this nursing school gig and I haven't even started yet. I'm waiting for something bad to happen being this past year has been a battle of ups and downs. Through all of this Jay has been my rock...I have been shutting him out these past few weeks yet he is there for me. I told him yesterday that I was sorry I haven't been "here" lately and he replied "I'll wait for you".

The simple fact is....the world doesn't stop turning, life goes on and it sucks...the BIG one! The good news is...I have a great guy who has unbelievable patience because he loves me---no matter what.




This was our wedding song......it still stands true today.

"Because You Loved Me"

 

For all those times you stood by me
For all the truth that you made me see
For all the joy you brought to my life
For all the wrong that you made right
For every dream you made come true
For all the love I found in you
I'll be forever thankful baby
You're the one who held me up
Never let me fall
You're the one who saw me through through it all

You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'coz you believed
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me

You gave me wings and made me fly
You touched my hand I could touch the sky
I lost my faith, you gave it back to me
You said no star was out of reach
You stood by me and I stood tall
I had your love I had it all
I'm grateful for each day you gave me
Maybe I don't know that much
But I know this much is true
I was blessed because I was loved by you

You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'coz you believed
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me

You were always there for me
The tender wind that carried me
A light in the dark shining your love into my life
You've been my inspiration
Through the lies you were the truth
My world is a better place because of you

You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'coz you believed
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me

I'm everything I am
Because you loved me